


Steady Sounds Your Heart

by n_liketheletter



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Jake also has a weird dream, M/M, Sam and Colby - Freeform, Supernatural Elements, YouTube, also it's sad boi hour, but then they have a Grat Tim at the end so, it's a happy ending, some gays having a Not Fun Time, there's just some funky stuff, those stupid light up toys that let your friends know you're thinking about them, yes someone dies bUT IT'S OKAY I PROMISE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-05 13:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16368554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_liketheletter/pseuds/n_liketheletter
Summary: "Sam, you're my everything...and when you fell, I-I lost it all."





	1. Presently

**Author's Note:**

> Wow all of my ideas for these two always end up being mushy in a hospital. I guess that's what they get for being fucking idiots all the time. 
> 
> What's that you say? Would I do the exact same things they are if given the chance? Absolutely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle down kiddos it's time for an emotional roller coaster. 
> 
>  
> 
> For atmosphere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v78PSm1R7bg

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

Colby watched the seconds go by, sitting in an armchair and surrounded with silence. It had been 28 days. Almost a month. That was a terrible thought.

 

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

The seconds dragged on to minutes, and still he couldn’t take his eyes off of that heart monitor on the wall. It had been 7 days since the big scare, a whole week, and even now he still couldn’t trust himself not to watch it. His friends were worried. The nurses had tried to shoo him out, but they wouldn’t change his position. They couldn’t, because Colby couldn’t either.

 

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

It had been 4 days since they’d raised enough money. The roommates had scraped all they could spare together, and finally the merch goal had been reached. Colby really had to give it to the fans, they were so supportive and kind. They were going to save a life. Hopefully. Colby reminded himself not to get his hopes up - so far, the expensive medicine hadn’t paid off. It had only been 3 days, though. Just three. The doctors said it would work after about a week at most, and it’d only been three days. There was still plenty of time for it to kick in, the doctors were just being paranoid, and his hope wouldn’t be for nothing. The support wouldn’t be for nothing. It would work. They’d all see, it would work.

 

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

Colby sighed, trying not to work himself up again. It’d only been an hour and a half since he last shed a tear, and even though there were plenty of tissues restocked for the next day, he was getting pretty tired of crying. It had never been fun, not once in his life had he ever been okay with crying. It meant that something terrible had happened, because he wasn’t a happy crier, and he didn’t want terrible things to happen. Before this, Colby could count on one hand how many times he’d cried in his life (apart from baby necessity). Now, the number only grew. This was a terrible, terrible situation. How’d they get here, him and Sam? How’d they end up like this?

 

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Whoooooa, dude! Look at this place!”

 

They’d gone to shoot a video at Willard Asylum up in New York, out of the way so they’d escape suspicion and cops. The previous two places they’d visited had been _crawling_ with guards, and for the moment the boys were tired of running from the local police. Willard Asylum was perfect: it was haunted, in the middle of nowhere, and relatively easy to get in to. They were halfway through exploring the massive structure when they came across a particularly large room, with a high ceiling and swooping walls. At the very top, small ledges popped out to support heavy arches. The walls themselves were bare, some spots so decayed that pipes and wires poked through. It would be quite easy to scale them, especially for someone with experience…

 

Sam had recently begun rock climbing, preferring to work out his whole body at once instead of clammer on to equipment at the gym. Colby had tried to go with him once, but he couldn’t get the hand-eye coordination right, which made the activity hard and unappealing. Sam, however, loved it - he looked like a squirrel, bounding up the wall effortlessly. As soon as he’d seen the wall at the asylum, he’d given Colby a look of excitement. There was no way he was going to pass up this opportunity.

 

“Hey, Sam,” Colby started, a mischievous smirk making its way onto his face. “I dare you to climb that.”

 

Sam had smiled, already shedding his backpack and handing it over his partner in crime.

 

“Set up the camera, then, I want a cool shot of this…,” he said, not waiting to see where Colby would record. As he put his foot on the first bronze pipe, Colby glanced up at the ledge. For a brief second, it had looked like there was a figure behind one of the arch’s bases. Looking back, he should’ve told Sam what he’d seen. Perhaps they could’ve avoided the whole situation entirely. But he hadn’t, and Sam had successfully crawled up the wall, and now they were here.

 

Once properly on the ledge, Sam gave a whoop, fist-pumping the air. Colby had laughed, joined in on the celebration. He pretended to scream obnoxiously, already forgetting about the weird shadow-person he’d just seen at the window. Sam took a bow, giggling.

 

“I can see my house from here!” he joked, peering out with a hand over his eyes. “Yo, Colby! Look, there’s little rooms up here!”

 

“Really? What’s in them?” Colby asked, genuinely curious. Maybe they’d found an unexplored part of the building! Maybe they should’ve left the hall alone!

 

“Nothing, much, just a bunch of dust and boxes? I think? Not worth exploring,” Sam replied, fishing through his pockets for something. “Besides, we have a tradition to uphold, and it’s kinda scary up here.”

 

He held out an XPLR sticker to the camera, shaking it slightly as he did. Peeling it from its backing, he reached up to slap it onto the molded wood and stepped back to marvel his work.

 

“Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Sam and Colby strike again!” Colby had turned the camera around to make a face, had just spun around when Sam shrieked. When he went back to review the tape, Colby thought it looked like something invisible had pushed his friend off the ledge. He never got a proper look, though, because as soon as Sam started falling Colby had turned the camera off. Rightfully so, too, as the sight of his best friend lying face down on hard concrete, his knee twisted and head supplying a slowly growing pool of blood, was too much to see again in person. He didn’t need physical evidence of that sight, something that he would never forget. He didn’t need reminders.

 

Colby had sprinted over, skidding slightly as he dropped to his knees. Sam had groaned, once, and then Colby had hailed an ambulance.

 

Sam hadn’t woken up since.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

35 days. The paramedics had said he was extremely lucky to be alive, with only a broken knee, twisted wrist, and slight head wound that had barely grazed the surface. All of those were healed, now, but Sam hadn’t budged. The doctors said that he had likely gone into such a shock that his body shut itself down. They said that once his other injuries had healed, he’d wake up. They were wrong.

 

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

After three weeks, everything was completely fixed, and the doctors were confused. They didn’t understand why he wouldn’t wake up. On a Tuesday they noticed internal bleeding for the first time, but only after Sam had an aneurysm. Things had taken a drastic turn for the worse in only a few short hours: Sam had to be hooked up to life support, and that’s where he’d been since. Colby had been out that day, taking those same couple hours to go home and shower, get some more flowers, because the ones the roommates had given him were dying. To pick up everyone at the house so they could come visit again. He hadn’t left Sam’s side after that, even though the nurses had protested that he was in fine care. Colby didn’t believe them. Colby didn’t believe anyone.

 

_Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip._

 

40 days. The medicine wasn’t working. The doctors said there wasn’t much hope. The hospital needed space. The Golbachs decided Sam had suffered enough. As much as Colby didn’t want to, he agreed. There was only so much people could do, only so much one person could suffer. The funeral had been set up, an autopsy had been refused, and everyone went home to put on their best. Even Colby. He showered, and shaved, and borrowed a tux from a friend, and surprisingly kept it together.

 

_Blip. Blip. Bli-_

 

41 days. Sam would never wake up again.


	2. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but I'm also not and you'll see why.  
> Kinda short, but there's some long ones coming up. Stick in there!  
>  
> 
> For atmosphere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk10DzVyNUE

“...as we remembered him at his prime: a healthy, happy, energetic man with crazy ideas and even crazier ways to accomplish them. To many, he was a friend. To some, a family member. To thousands, an inspiration. Let his soul rest in peace and comfort, with the knowledge that he will continue to touch minds and hearts all over the world.”

 

Finally, they were done with the speeches. If Colby had to listen to one more person talk about how wonderful of a guy Sam Golbach was and how much the world loved and missed him, he was going to either throw up or cry. Probably both, if he were to be honest with himself. He was glad he was first - he definitely wouldn’t have been able to speak coherently after all the memories he was trying to repress had been brought up by others. Besides, he’d written a crappy speech to begin with; Colby had never been good with words. The only thing that had kept him going as he stood in front of relatives and old friends was the small pair of light-up, electronic buttons in his pocket. The ones that connected from wherever, that would shine if you pressed it. The ones that they advertised on TV infomercials, that would let the receiver know that you were thinking of them. The same ones Sam had gifted Colby (and kept one for himself) right before he moved to L.A., when they thought they wouldn’t see each other for a long while. The fact that they used them maybe twice before Colby headed over didn’t matter. The sentiment and care that Sam embodied was held within those dumb things, and Colby hadn’t dug through Sam’s entire room - even though it killed him - just to find the pair for nothing.

 

He sat in the back, with the rest of the roommates, not wanting to get in the way of distraught family. He felt their pain, like a dagger to the heart, every time he looked at that open casket. Tears threatened to spill for the fourteenth time today, but Colby still held them in. He had to be strong, for Sam’s mother. He’d promised. They both promised. As the procession grew thin, Aaron stood. He mumbled something about finding a tissue and clean air, went up to look at Sam, and nearly ran out the door. Corey went after him, like Colby knew he would, and then it was just him and Jake left sitting on a pew. The church was empty, most of the mourners outside gathering to walk to Sam’s final resting place. Colby refused to say what the real word for it was. It was already too real. He couldn’t do that to himself just yet. Jake sighed next to him and wordlessly got up. Now it was just Colby.

 

Without wasting more time than necessary, he somberly walked up to a casket covered in daffodils and white lilies. Daffodils would be odd, if they weren’t Sam’s favorite. Interesting choice, a weed, but Sam saw beauty in everything. That’s just the way he is. That’s just the way he _was_. Colby stood there, staring down at what used to be his best friend. Sam was pale, and the make up artist had used too much blush, and his hair was styled wrong. Colby reached down to fix it. He placed one of the light up toys in Sam’s very cold hand. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. He promised he wouldn’t let this opportunity slide, and there was no one else but him and Sam, and he had waited far too long to do this. Far, _far_ too long.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t save you,” Colby whispered, trying desperately not to cry. “I’m sorry I never did this when you were alive…, I-I think that’s my biggest regret.” He leaned down, gave Sam a very soft kiss, and walked away.

 

He didn’t look back, and he didn’t watch as they lowered Sam into the ground, and he didn’t stay any longer than helping Sam’s mother took. He didn’t watch the sunset with the crew, taking some time to himself in the car. He tried his hardest not to think at all. He never wanted to think again.

 

Colby was for sure crying hard tonight.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

For a long while, there was nothing.

 

Empty space.

  
Black, that’s the first color he remembers. Wait, he remembers. He _remembers_. 


	3. Future Possibilities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this wasn't up yesterday -- I was having a whole ordeal that I won't get into here.
> 
>  
> 
> For atmosphere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpBsVSFbB2o

Sam woke with a shout, tried to sit up, and slammed his head into something hard. 

 

“Ow…,” he murmured, throat dry and scratchy with unuse. He tried to see, but there was still nothing but black. Where the fuck was he? Wait, shit - was he  _ dead _ ?! Well, quick, what’s the last thing he remembers…

 

The asylum. Oh yeah, he fell - no, he was  _ pushed _ off of a ledge. It was a very high ledge, if he’s thinking of the right one. Colby was there, which was normal because they had a YouTube channel. They went exploring. They go exploring. One hell of a job, he thinks. So, wait - why was he here? Where is here? Why can’t he see anything? What was happening?

 

Sam felt around, and soon understood that he was in a very small space with nice padding but no light, wearing what he thought was a full piece tux, and surrounded by weird objects. What in God’s name-- wait. 

 

Okay, hold up. This was…, this was a  _ casket _ . He was stuck in a casket. Oh my god. If this was another part to the prank war, Sam would murder whoever was responsible. Probably Colby, because he knew Sam hated confined spaces. God, when he got out of here, Colby was so going to get it… 

 

But hang on a second. If he was actually in a casket, then there’d be tons of dirt on top. His friends wouldn’t actually bury him, would they? No, absolutely not. They wouldn’t. That was too far. So why couldn’t he open the lid? Why couldn’t he get out?  _ Fuck _ , was he actually underground? Oh no. Oh no oh no ohno, ohno, ohno. This was bad. This was very, very bad. How did he even get here? Had he actually died? Oh my god, had he actually risen from the dead? Was he a ghost right now?

 

No, no that was stupid. He couldn’t be.  _ Why not? _ asked his anxiety.  _ Because, you idiot, you can feel things. Do ghosts feel things? _ responded logic. That was a pretty solid argument, until anxiety shot back with  _ How would you know? Have you ever been a ghost before? _ Now Sam was more annoyed than anything, so he shut his brain up and worked on how he would get out. There was no way he could force his way out, and the wood was definitely too hard to break through without shattering his hands. Even then, he’d have to dig for hours, and he really did not feel up to that at the moment. His head spun, and his stomach felt upset, and his eyes were flashing white. 

 

Well, no, they weren’t. That was a…, flashlight? Maybe? What was that? The lights stopped, and left a faintly glowing object next to his right hand. Sam picked it up, observing that it was round and squishy, and the glow came from a power button. He pressed it, hoping that this was what he thought it was. He pressed the power again, waiting. The underside of the object shone for a beat, acknowledging that the batteries were working, and then… 

 

Then there was a small light show. White, yellow, and then green danced through Sam’s eyes.  _ Yes! _ He knew exactly was this was. That little clicker he gave Colby a long time ago, the one they said they’d use every day until Colby high-tailed it to L.A. anyway. It had glowed green - it was connected to something. That was his ticket out of here. Now, if only he knew morse code… 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ “Ugh, Colby, turn that off.” _

 

_ Sam was sitting in front of him, smiling amidst the daffodils. There was a faint glow, warm, around the both of them. It was nice, perfect evening weather. The fireflies had just started to come out, even though the sun hadn’t quite set. _

 

_ “Colby, please turn that off…,” said Sam. Turn what off? “Dude!”  _

 

_ That wasn’t Sam’s voice. _

 

“Colby!” 

 

Colby peeled his eyes open. He wasn’t in the field anymore, but instead in a house. Specifically, the living room floor of the house he shared. Jake was in front of his face, sleepy but annoyed at something. 

 

“What?” Colby asked, groggy. Jake sighed. 

 

“Corey woke me up to tell you to turn your necklace thing off,” he replied, voice heavy. 

 

“It’s been lighting up the room for the last five minutes, I just wanna sleep,” Corey’s voice drifted across the room. 

 

“What time is it?” Aaron muttered from the other side. 

 

“Too early,” said Jake, rubbing his eyes and falling back onto the couch cushions. “Wake me up in another five hours.”

 

That’s right, they had all agreed to sleep in the living room after Aaron had collapsed during a movie marathon. It was in Sam’s honor, they said. Colby had cried all night, as had everyone else; an endless downfall of tears as they watched Sam’s favorites. They’d all fallen asleep around one am, and it was now three, according to Colby’s phone. Too early, indeed. 

 

“What about my necklace?” he sighed. He looked down to find his half of the communicator toy softly glowing, which was unusual because he hadn’t turned it on. Perhaps he’d accidentally rolled over in his sleep. He hit the power button, and the light died. Stupid thing. 

 

“Thanks,” Corey whispered, and the quiet resumed. Just as Colby was about to fall back asleep, the damn thing turned on by itself again. 

 

“Uuuuuuugh…”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I got i-” There, for a second, the light was green. That wasn’t possible. Green meant it was connected, live. Green meant you could alert your friend that you were thinking of them. Green meant the one in Sam’s casket was also on. 

 

“What? Please don’t tell me the ghosts are back and trying to communicate through that thing,” Corey complained softly. As soon as he said it, the thing started spamming out. 

 

“Whoa, what the fuck?”

 

Colby was now fully awake, as was Aaron, and the little button filled the entire room with white light. Jake groaned, about to make some kind of smart remark before Colby shut him down. 

 

“I’m not…, doing that.”

 

“What - what do you  _ mean _ you’re not doing that?” Corey looked on with wide eyes, as the tiny device continued to pulse. Aaron was transfixed, and Colby felt the same way. There was no way it could go off like this, it was stuck in Sam’s casket buried way beneath the ground, impossible to get to, unless… 

 

Unless you were Sam. And Sam was dead. 

 

“Guys, it’s Sam.”

 

“What’d’ya mean, it’s  _ Sam _ ?” Jake inquired from under a blanket, disgruntled. “Dude, if this is a prank I’m going to dunk you into the pool and leave you out there for the rest of your lif-”

 

“No, I wouldn’t - not about something like this, I…!” Colby was at a loss for words. “There’s no other way that this could be happening! The other thingy is in his casket!”

 

“You sure someone didn’t just, like…, take it out?” Aaron was trying to reason his way through the situation before he got hysterical, and Colby wished he could muster up the calm. 

 

“No, I was the last person in there - I watched them close the lid, they didn’t take anything out,” said Jake slowly, peering out from his blanket. 

 

Corey looked about ready to faint. “Do you think…, do you really think it’s Sam?” 

 

“Who else would it be? The priest cleaned this place out a year ago, so there couldn’t be anything else but him!” Colby uttered, rushing through his words. What the fuck was going on?

 

“Oh,  _ shit _ ,” breathed Corey. There was a beat of silence as they all watched the clicker become a strobe light. It was three am, the morning after they’d buried Sam, and that thing was defying physical limits. It  _ had _ to be him. It  _ had _ to be Sam. 

 

“Well, are we gonna do anything about it?” All eyes turned to Jake. He squirmed a bit. “I mean, shouldn’t we, like, try to talk to him?”

 

“I’ll get the ouiji board,” said Corey, who had gone completely out of character. Colby had never seen him so serious. Aaron suggested going with him, because the both of them still hated going into the garage alone (which was completely understandable), and once again Jake and Colby sat in silence. 

 

This was…, so bizarre. The light churned on, having settled into a rhythmic pattern. It was almost in tune to Colby’s heart beats. What the  _ fuck _ . The two friends listened to Aaron and Corey tiptoe through the house, still careful not to disrupt anything even after the priest had deemed their house clean. When they eventually crept back into the living room, Aaron wasted no time setting up the dumb toy. Even with all the crazy things that had happened while he played it, Colby refused to believe it was anything else but that - it was his way of keeping sane. 

 

“Colb, you gonna join?” Colby got up to complete the group as they huddled around the board. Placing his necklace on the ground next to the game, Colby sat cross legged beside his pink-haired friend. All four of them pressed a finger onto the planchette.


	4. Take It As It Comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I WAS LATE AGAIN I HAVE TWO ESSAYS KICKING MY ASS
> 
> not like anyone's really reading it anyway hahahaha
> 
>  
> 
> For atmosphere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ut52Szpd-w

“Is there anyone with us right now?”

 

Jake let out a breath. This was fucking crazy. No one moved a muscle. 

 

“Sam? Are you there?” Colby once again reached out. Nothing happened, except for the continuous pulsing from his necklace. It hadn’t stopped spazzing out since it started, but it wasn’t entirely rhythmic - the beats were a little off from time to time. It wasn’t the machine malfunctioning, that’s for sure. It truly appeared as though a person was making it light up, and Jake didn’t know what to think about that. This wasn’t like the dybbuk boxes, where sinister shit would happen and you could feel the danger in the air. The shadows were still, as was the board, but the necklace flashed uncontrollably. There was something making the light go, but it didn’t feel…,  _ here _ . 

 

“Why isn’t he moving the thing?” 

 

“Maybe he doesn’t know what it is?”

 

“No, Sam knows what a fucking ouiji board looks like-”

 

“So why is he ignoring it?” The roommates were getting antsy, Colby in particular. Jake kinda expected it, considering a few hours ago they had literally all sat beside freshly turned earth and a cold plaque.  

 

“Well, maybe…, he can’t see it?” Aaron piped up. He was met with confused glances. “I mean, we don’t really know what the ghost world looks like, so…”

 

“I guess…,” Colby started, still looking dubious. “But how did everything else get into contact with us all those other times?”

 

“I don’t fucking know, but obviously Sam didn’t get the memo.”

 

“Look, let’s just…, keep our heads and wait for a bit more,” Jake sighed, getting progressively more tired as nothing continued to happen. His eyes were all puffy, and his head hurt a good deal, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. 

 

“Yeah, let’s give it another five and then figure out what to do from there,” Aaron agreed, also trying to quiet down a fight before it happened. Everyone was strung out, drained from the emotional trauma they’d been dealing with for the past two months. Thankfully the other two nodded, and then began the longest five minutes of Jake’s entire life. 

 

As much as he really wanted Sam to be here, as much as he’d love to talk to him one more time, Jake could not for the life of him keeps his eyes open. He was trying, for Colby’s sake, but all this shit had piled up on to  _ this very moment right now currently _ and Jake was sleepy. The planchette refused to move. It was quiet, and warm, and Jake was dozing off… 

 

“Alright, this clearly isn’t working...” 

 

Jake barely registered the words before he was asleep. 

 

_ He woke up in a very different place. It was dark - very dark. It was cold. The air felt thin, as if he were atop a high mountain. It was…, quiet. It was  _ really _ quiet. Unnaturally so. Jake was unsettled. This wasn’t the house - he was just there; how’d he even get to this place? Where  _ was _ he? Did his soul get sucked into the ouiji board? Was that how ouiji boards even worked? What the hell.  _

 

_ Jake tried to peer through the darkness, seeing nothing anywhere. Well, no - what was that little pin-prick over there? Jake drifted closer - he wasn’t moving his limbs. In fact, it didn’t feel like he had any in this situation at all. It was like he was floating, like when you reached the top of the hill on a roller coaster and just started to fall; for that brief second you feel like you can fly. It was that, but constant and without the visuals. It was  _ weird _. Regardless, Jake could see himself getting closer to what was now recognizable as a flashing light obstructed by…, something. Jake didn’t know what that was. He drew closer, and thought he heard something. He looked around in the dark, but it was still the same. Mentally shrugging, he turned his attention back to the light.  _

 

_ It was bright, a stark contrast to everything else. It appeared blue-ish, like fluorescents in the ceiling. Jake could only see some of it through horizontal cracks in…, what was that? A box? Jake tried to touch it, discovering he did actually have some hands in the process, and found a smooth, curved piece of- was that wood? Maybe? It was rather large, and weirdly shaped; the height being about the size of his chest and the width being…, really fucking long. Cautiously, Jake moved a tad to the left and felt around. He was met with a corner a ways from the brightness, but didn’t venture any further lest he lose the sight of the only source of light.  _

 

_ So it was a box, if the corner was anything to go by. A very big one, made out of wood, and the top of it was sloped downwards to the crack through which light came from. It was hollow, unless the light wasn’t actually there and Jake was hallucinating. Well, he already was, wasn’t he? Why  _ wouldn’t _ there be a weird artificial light in a wooden box under the ground? Why not- wait. Under the ground…, how’d he know it was underground?  _

 

_ Suddenly, there was a gasp and a large  _ whump _ from the inside of the box. Jake started, the noise loud from someone who until recently had been hearing absolutely nothing. There was heavy breathing and what sounded like a voice, then, and a couple more thumps, and then things calmed down some. Jake was quite sure the box was hollow now, because there was  _ something inside of it _. He gathered his wits and tried to see through the cracks in the box. It looked like there was a person? Maybe? Okay, yeah, that was a person - Jake had just seen a hand grip whatever was making the light. He tried to angle his head so he could see whoever it was in the box, but the light went out. Just his luck.  _

 

_ Still attempting to see inside the box, Jake floated towards the end with the corner. The light turned back on, flashing several times and startling him. In those flashes (which were remarkably similar to what Colby’s necklace had done), Jake thought he saw a face. Blonde hair, possibly a lighter brunette, and blue eyes that looked terrified. After a second, the light turned green just like Colby’s necklace, and then resumed its normal muted white. There was a beat of quiet, and then the light started strobing out and someone  _ screeched _.  _

 

 _It took Jake a minute to adjust to this sound-filled void, but even slightly more in control of his brain he was still confused and even more unsettled. That person was desperately trying to get out, if the screaming for help and scratching was anything to go by, and Jake found himself unable to touch the box anymore. Wait. A box, underground, with a person inside…, holy fuck this was a casket. A_ casket _with a_ live person _inside, that apparently had the same little machine that Colby has-_

 

_ Oh my god.  _

 

As soon as Jake connected the dots, he was thrown out of sleep and into Colby’s arms. What the fuck? What the fuck - 

 

“Jake! Jake, dude, you okay?”

 

“Holy  _ shit _ ,” Jake whispered, still reeling from his big realization. The guys continued to fret over him, someone laying him on the couch and another bringing him some water, and one trying to talk to him. Jake couldn’t register what he was saying or which roommate was which until everything calmed down a hot second later. 

 

“-ake? Bro, you good?” Three pairs of eyes stared at him in worry. 

 

“Colby, you were right,” Jake started, still kinda hyperventilating. “You  _ are _ right…”

 

“What?” Colby looked confused. “Here, Jake, drink some water, okay?”

 

Jake pushed the glass away and sat up, ignoring the spinning and protests from everyone around him. “We have to get there, like, right now.”

 

“Get where? Jake, what’s going on?”

 

He stood and immediately began to sway. Groaning slightly, he tried to make his foot go forward, but almost fell as his body lurched. Corey gently pushed him back on the couch. He tried to get up again, but was met with a “stay down, man” and a lot of hands. 

 

“Jake, you are in no shape to go anywhere right now. Drink some water, and tell us what’s happening.”

 

_ Since when did Corey become the dad friend? _ Jake sighed heavily, grabbed the glass from Colby’s hands, and chugged the whole thing.  _ Here goes nothing, _ he thought. 

 

“Okay, so, you’re not going to believe me  _ at all _ , but you need to, because I just saw  _ Sam motherfucking Golbach _ very much alive in his casket underground.”

 

There’s several beats of silence, and then Corey raises a look of disbelief. 

 

“Jake…” Aaron’s being condescending. The only person that appears to really understand what Jake’s saying is Colby, and honestly Jake isn’t surprised. He should’ve known nobody else would get it, but they desperately needed to, because Sam was about to die for a second time if they didn’t get him out of there. 

 

“I know what I saw - you gotta trust me on this!”

 

“How - did you like, have a vision or something?” Colby’s eyes were wide. 

 

“Okay, let’s just slow down, and you can tell us everything from the beginning,” said Aaron, glancing towards Corey anxiously. There was a glimmer, though, behind both of their eyes; one that hadn’t been there for a month and a half. Jake took a deep breath. 

 

“We were waiting for a response on the board, right? And I fell, like, asleep? But it wasn’t really sleeping, more like I was transported to a different - you know what, it doesn’t matter. I ‘woke up’ in a really dark place, and I saw a casket and the other half of your necklace” - Jake gestured to Colby, who held the still-strobing toy on the end of a chain - “inside of it. I saw it light up, and it turned green, and I looked inside of the casket and I saw Sam for a brief second, and then he started banging around and screaming and trying to get out and I tried to help him but I couldn’t touch anything and -”

 

“You sure this wasn’t just a dream or something?” Corey cut across, still dubious. Aaron at least looked a little less doubtful, but death was supposed to be a constant. Jake knew that. Yet here he was with a wild tale, trying to convince his roommates to dig up what 75% of them considered a dead body. Suddenly realizing how absurd this was, he took a second to think everything through before responding. 

 

“ _ No _ . It wasn’t a dream, and he’s gonna suffocate under the ground unless we get over there  _ now _ .” 

 

Perhaps taken aback by how serious Jake grew, the group paused. A quiet fell over the four, so deep that Jake could hear every creak in the house. Aaron still looked concerned, but less for Jake’s sanity and more for what he was actually saying. It was him that broke the silence. 

 

“How long does it take for someone to run out of air underground?” he asked, quietly, as though he really couldn’t believe he had fathomed the question. Colby scrambled for his phone. Corey sighed, rubbing his eyes. 

 

“I can’t believe this is happening right now,” he said, not totally convinced but not bothering to stop Aaron peering over Colby’s shoulder. “Isn’t digging up a grave a federal offense?” 

 

“We literally make our careers off of running from the cops. What’s another criminal activity gonna do now?”


	5. Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Home Stretch, bois. 
> 
>  
> 
> For atmosphere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YgmMJJ34k4

_ This definitely isn’t a prank. They’d never leave me in here for this long.  _

 

Sam had ran out his voice a long time ago, and he appeared to running out of air. This was bad. This was really, really bad. He was going to suffocate in the casket, and no one would be the wiser. He’d gotten nothing clear back from the clicker, and his hand was cramping severely from the continuous tapping. He’d been going at it for  _ hours _ , almost 3 if his watch was anything to go by. He was grateful for that little time-teller, even though he was pretty sure he’d given it to Jake in his will. That was from five years ago now - it was entirely out of date, and most of the possessions he’d listed were already long gone, so he guessed everyone had left them up to his parents. That was weird to think about - other people now had his things. If he even got out he’d have to ask for them back. How long had he been underground? How long had they thought he was dead? 

 

Was he sure he wasn’t?

 

Alright, he’d already gone down that road too many times. He wasn’t dead, because he could feel the air getting thinner, and now that he was focused on it he  _ really _ couldn’t breathe. It felt like he was drowning. There wasn’t any water, but he couldn’t breathe, and it was  _ dark _ and Sam couldn’t get out. It was so terribly silent, too. There was no noise underground, Sam observed. It was unnerving, to know that he was the only thing capable of sound where he was. Nobody heard him, either. He could talk as loud as he wanted, scream out with no repercussions. The dead would be perfect neighbors, if Sam wasn’t alive. 

 

He felt suffocated, not only by lack of oxygen but by the pressing silence. There was nothing. It slowly dawned on Sam that he’d never get out. If someone had noticed anything, they’d had their time to act on it. This was it. He was going to die, right here, where he was supposed to be anyway, but no one would know… 

 

There was a very large  _ s c r a p e _ against the top of the casket. At first, Sam thought he was hallucinating; there was a pause, and there again. It sounded like…, metal. A shovel. The scraping continued, and it took a hot second for Sam’s brain to connect the dots. That was a  _ shovel _ . A  _ person _ .  _ Oh my god. _

 

Sam screamed. He shouted, even though his voice was gone and he had no air. He yelled and screeched like his life depended on it because, of course, it did. The shovels (there were several now) moved faster. There was a very large hustle, and then Sam felt his cage being lifted, and he couldn’t hear anything but his own voice for a minute as the box shifted to and fro. Eventually, Sam’s voice broke completely. There was rescue,  _ finally _ they had heard him, and it made no sense to continue tearing his vocal chords. He could hear muffled voices through the wood. He was so thankful for the noise. Light seeped through the cracks in the casket. Metal links rattled, and then - 

 

He was free. He had made it. 

 

Taking in a huge gulp of air, Sam bolted up from the cramped confinement that now smelled stale. The morning light was too bright for his unadjusted eyes, but he could hear gasps of surprise from all sides. There was a beat of silence while Sam blinked away the darkness, but it wasn’t true quiet. It was still crickets, and the wind, and the birds starting to wake up, and it was  _ noise _ . Sam relished in it. 

 

“...Sam?” That sounded from his left. 

 

Colby stood there, shoes sinking in fresh-turned earth, a softly glowing necklace further adding to the gray light surrounding him, with tears sparkling in the corners of his eyes. He looked a wreck, disheveled hair and red face, and dark purple under his tears. He had not been sleeping for a while, it appeared. Sam briefly wondered if that was his fault. 

 

“-olby?” he croaked, unable to speak properly after tormenting his voice for nearly four hours straight. The first tear escaped from his friend’s face, Colby’s shock still resonating. His bottom lip trembled slightly. There was an “ _ oh my god _ ” from what sounded like Jake on the other side of the casket, and it broke the stillness. Colby crashed into him, even as Sam sat crooked and awkward. There were jubilous shouts from all around him, and Colby was crying, and  _ he _ was crying though he couldn’t place when he’d started, and there was warm weight piled on from every direction, and the light continued to grow. Sam recognized Aaron and Corey among the group, and they all huddled around Sam’s former prison and sobbed. Later, he would recognize it as an incredible bonding moment. 

 

Eventually, the other’s broke away; Aaron first, to call an ambulance. Corey was next, who was calling Sam’s mother before she got on a plane home. Jake took a bit, but he eventually peeled off as well, and that left Colby. Colby wouldn’t let go, not even after Sam crawled out of the dirt (he practically lifted Sam out himself) or when the ambulance arrived. It seemed as though he was afraid to let go, like Sam wouldn’t be there anymore if he ended the hug, and after a night underground Sam wasn’t too inclined to deny him. The whole time, he wept. Sam cried, too, but Colby was a mess. He wasn’t the only one either - Corey couldn’t stop wiping his eyes, and Aaron sniffled every few seconds. Jake just sat in the dirt with his face in his hands, the steady stream of tears shocking compared to his usually aloof personality. Sam supposed it was a natural response, seeing your friend shoot up from his casket. 

 

Colby did have to let Sam out from his embrace to get to the hospital, but he held Sam’s hand the whole ride there, and the entirety of a couple of very confused doctor’s tests. Sam’s family came, and Colby let go for that, but he didn’t leave. Elton, who had travelled into town for the funeral, snuck McDonalds past the nurses and watched in knowing amusement as Colby tried to make the case that he had to feed Sam chicken nuggets (his motor-skills were rusty after so much disuse, Colby said he’d read it in some medical magazine). He later rubbed Sam’s back as he threw up said nuggets at 2 AM, and was holding Sam’s hand when he woke up the next morning, and filled him in while everyone waited for results. The nurses began to just leave the two to themselves, seeing as Colby was doing their job for them. There wasn’t a moment that he wasn’t by Sam’s side, and it was a nice reminder that Sam wasn’t isolated in complete darkness. He grew accustomed to Colby’s presence, even after he was cleared at the hospital. 

 

It felt great to be alive.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to just finish it now. Happy Thanksgiving to my American bros. Thank you for the kudos!
> 
>  
> 
> For atmosphere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MWglxkw1y4

_ Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. _

 

Colby’s heart was positively racing. He had no idea why - they were just doing a normal video at a different location, and everything was okay. The two of them were in perfect health once again. There was no real reason for it, but here he was, actively conscious of his heartbeat. 

 

_ Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. _

 

“Hey, Colby, you comin’?” Sam tapped on the window of the driver’s side, already holding the camera equipment and backpack. It was the same camera they’d used for the last video. There was nothing special about it, really, but every time Colby looked at it he felt a little nauseous. He’d never get that last video fragment out of his mind. It was like it was etched into the back of his eyelids, that invisible push replaying every time he closed his eyes. 

 

Colby nodded, smiling faintly. He took a long, deep breath. 

 

_ Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.  _

 

The place they’d chosen was familiar territory, nothing haunted or new, but something still rather challenging to get in to. It was quiet this afternoon, however, and it was a beautiful day. No clouds in the sky, not too hot, no rain or strong winds…, it was the perfect day for exploring. There was a slight breeze that under other circumstances, Colby would definitely have enjoyed. He stepped out of the car with uneven breath and shaky legs all the same. 

 

Sam had been adamant about getting out to explore as soon as he was physically fit. Something about not fearing giant, empty buildings. Colby understood, but he didn’t feel up to it himself. There was something about literally seeing your friend die because you went and trespassed in an unsafe building that left him  _ horrified _ of doing anything remotely similar. He could only imagine what Sam was going through, all the nightmares and sleepless days he’d been having recently. Today was different, though. Today, Sam was back to his normal self; or so it seemed. 

 

_ Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. _

 

Dodging security was always Colby’s least favorite activity, yet it was relatively easy to dash across a dirt road in the middle of the woods, especially during the day. They were inside the old building within minutes, not a single cop car to be seen. Because they didn’t want their audience to open with shaky camera action and bluffing wind, the two explorers had decided to wait until they got into the place before they filmed the intro. Besides, the older video had basically showed how to get in, and it really wasn’t that hard. Regardless, Colby’s heart still hammered, and it wasn’t because of the run. 

 

“You got the camera?”

 

Sam shot him a gleeful smile and held up the device. Colby gave him a half-hearted thumbs up, suddenly becoming overwhelmed. The building wasn’t the same, they had been here before, they were in a completely different state all the way across the country, and Colby still found himself absolutely terrified of going in. He breathing got a little heavier as he thought about it. They were going to a familiar place, but Colby felt like a stranger. His nerves were getting the best of him, and he was letting them, because last time they had done something like this Sam had literally died-

 

“Colby? Did you hear what I just said?” Sam snapped him out of his anxiety. Colby shook his head, a tad bashful. He wasn’t normally like this with anything, so why was he acting up now? Especially when Sam had really pushed the idea, expressed that he really wanted to just dive right back in. Fuck, he was not doing too well, was he?

 

_ Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. _

 

“-olby? Dude, are you okay?” Sam was worried now, and honestly Colby didn’t blame him. His breathing had become shallow, although he couldn’t recall when, and his heart felt like it was going to pop out of his chest, and he was dizzy and he couldn’t hear right - 

 

Sam’s hand connected with Colby’s shoulder, grounding him. The smaller man wore a look of concern. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

 

“I - no. I’m really…, I’m not okay right now, Sam, I’m sorry, I…”

 

Colby sat down in the grass outside, feeling rather upset about his not-okay-ness. This was supposed to be for Sam, to break his fear. Not for Colby to have a panic attack. 

 

“-need some water or something?” Sam was speaking again, asking if Colby needed water. He was such a nice person. Colby shook his head, trying to slow down his breathing.

 

“No, I’ll be fine I just…,” he drifted off, unable to describe how he was feeling. He wanted to help Sam with anything - hell, if he’d wanted to go back and scale the same wall and test fate then Colby’d be right behind him, but for some reason he just couldn’t do it today. He felt like an idiot. Sam sat down next to him. 

 

“What’s up? Are you just not up to filming today, or…”

 

“No, I’m just…, overreacting for no reason, I don’t know why…”

 

Colby started to tear up. He knew exactly why, he just wouldn’t say it. Why couldn’t he just admit he was scared and move on? That was totally understandable, right? Sam wouldn’t be mad at him for that. 

 

“Whoa, hey, we can come back later if it’s still too early, or I can get Jake or someone to come with me instead…”

 

Sam’s hand was back on his shoulder, like a lifeline; Colby leaned in to the touch. He had to say something, he couldn’t just continue to sit here and cry like a child. He sighed, paused for a beat. Now or never.

 

_ Thump.Thump.Thump.Thump.  _

 

“Sam, you’re my everything…,” Colby started. Swallowed. Took another breath. “And when you fell, I-I lost it all. And ever since then I’ve been so  _ scared _ , I’m afraid of losing you again. And I know it’s not the same, here, not even close, but…, I can’t lose you again. I can’t just lose my other half, you know? I don’t want…”

 

Arms encircled Colby’s torso, warm and strong. A tear slid down his face. There was a second of quiet. 

 

“Oh, Colby…” Sam pulled back slightly so Colby could see his face, arms still holding on tightly. 

 

“Sorry, I just,” Colby sniffled. Sam shook his head. 

 

“No, I’m sorry. I pushed it, too far this time. I knew you didn’t want to do this, but -”

 

“Don’t apologize for something you can’t control. You needed to get over something, I understand, I’m fine -”

 

“You’re not! Neither of us are,” Sam exclaimed. Colby could see the water in his eyes from how close they were. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you, I’m sorry for suddenly springing back up with no warning and scaring you all half to death, I’m sorry for trying to push both of us back into our normal lives when I knew neither of us were ready, I should have realized…”

 

Sam was crying too, all of a sudden a rush down his cheeks. He kept apologizing, and Colby didn’t know why. None of this was his fault, but he was right. Neither of the two friends were ready to throw themselves back into what they had considered normal. There was a gaping void between their former lives and where they were at now. Too much had happened for either of them to just pick up where they left off. Colby realized this, and so did Sam, but it wasn't his fault. It was neither of their faults. It’s just the way it was. 

 

Colby reached up to take Sam’s face in his hands. 

 

_ Thump.Thump.Thump.Thump. _

 

“Sam, hey, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, it’s just the way things are now,” he said, wiping a tear away. Sam still looked upset, staring down at Colby from where he was perched on his knees with remorse and fear and grief in his eyes. They looked tired. Colby figured he probably looked the same. “We can’t go back to…, whatever it was before. It’s all different now, we can’t ignore that we’ve changed. It’s okay to…, change…”

 

Colby trailed off, distracted by the look Sam was giving him. It looked like he had something to say, but as the seconds passed he made no sound. His eyes were still leaking, water flowing from those bright eyes. They were rather pretty - Colby had never really noticed before. They were this pale blue, and depending which way the light shone they almost looked a little green. Sam shifted, his face a little closer and his arms around Colby’s shoulders. He looked nervous, but Colby didn’t know why. Sam licked his lips a bit. 

 

“If we can’t go back…,” he whispered, edging forward, “then maybe we should start over…”

 

_ thumpthumpthumpthump _

 

Colby’s heart was going 101 mph down the PCH. Holy fucking shit. Sam Golbach, his best friend of four plus years, was actively kissing him. What the fuck. Colby didn’t move a muscle. He felt dazed, breathless but in the best way. As soon as he’d registered the fact another person’s lips were on his, they were gone. Sam pulled back, hesitantly studying Colby’s face. His eyes were searching, a little desperate, inches from Colby’s own. Colby felt lost in their oceans. He blinked and figured he should say something. 

 

“You…, have pretty eyes.”  _ Nice one. _

 

Sam huffed, rolling his eyes. He was about to say something, but Colby didn’t want to give him the chance before he had already closed the gap between them once again. Sam was warm, and his lips were very chapped, but that was okay. Colby liked it. It briefly occurred to him that this was his  _ best friend _ , but honestly he found himself not caring a single bit. It felt like he was born to do this, and it was nice. It was really nice. Eventually, though, he kinda had to breathe. 

 

When they broke apart for the second time, Sam wore the biggest smile Colby had ever seen. It spread all the way up to his eyes, like he was squinting, and that meant Colby couldn’t stare into them anymore. That wouldn’t do. 

 

“Stop smiling, I wanna see your eyes.” Sam giggled in response. “Stop! Lemme see your eyeballs…”

 

Colby poked Sam’s face, his own smile growing. This just made Sam giggle more, and then Colby giggled, and now they were both laughing. 

 

Two idiot boys laughing at each other in the shade, sat outside an abandoned building with a patrol around the perimeter every 45 minutes (or so the signs said). Two idiot boys making out with all the privacy in the world, both scared out of their minds but for a single moment at peace with each other. Two idiot boys; one the living dead, the other an embodiment of anxiety. Two explorers taking the time to figure out the other, finally. Two pieces of the same puzzle, putting life back into gear despite death’s best try. Just two, and nothing to separate them. 

 

_ Thump.   Thump.    Thump.      T h u m p. _

 

Colby couldn’t hear his heart race anymore. 


End file.
